id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
