OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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