No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
