Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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