Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i would punch a child for taco bell
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
