Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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