i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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