this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
