forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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