that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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