Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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