Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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