this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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