you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Still dying that you shit outside
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
