Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You dont lie about slip and slides
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
