i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
