dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
