you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
