Nicole vs. Life
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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