btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
