You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize