Pants 0. Shit 1.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
