Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
