Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
