I haven't been this sober since birth.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
