just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
