i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
