one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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