There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize