I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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