OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
