So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
