Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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