ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
