i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
