let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
