Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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