I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I intend to get homeless drunk
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
