i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
