When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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