I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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