if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize