this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
