Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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