Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The Olympian is in my bed
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
