Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
