We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
