i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
