Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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