It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
