i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
