the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
