the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize