I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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