Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
