better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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