goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
