Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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