Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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