I won't be sarcastic... just naked
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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