so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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