We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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