I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
