So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
