I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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